222 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Hilarious

When we say dad jokes, we think they are songs that young people love. In fact, some dad jokes can be really funny.

Here are the 222 dad jokes we’ve picked for you:

  • “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
  • “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
  • “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
  • “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
  • “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
  • “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
  • “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
  • “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
  • “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.”
  • “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
  • “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!”
  • “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
  • “What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved.”
  • “Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.”
  • “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
  • “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?” “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
  • “What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
  • “How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.”
  • “A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.'”
  • “What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt looks good on you.”
  • “I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.”
  • “Where do fruits go on vacation?” “Pear-is!”

Best Dad Jokes

  • “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?” “I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”
  • “What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn?”
  • “Where do you learn to make a banana split?” “Sundae school.”
  • “What does a sprinter eat before a race?” “Nothing, they fast!”
  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”
  • “What has more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!”
  • “I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.”
  • “What do you call a poor Santa Claus?” “St. Nickel-less.”
  • “I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.”
  • “Where do boats go when they’re sick?” “To the boat doc.”
  • “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”
  • “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!”
  • “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
  • “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
  • “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!”
  • “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”
  • “What did one hat say to the other?” “Stay here! I’m going on ahead.”
  • “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
  • “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
  • “Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.”
  • “What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?” “Yellow!”
  • “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”

New Dad Jokes

  • “What kind of car does an egg drive?” “A yolkswagen.”
  • “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
  • “How do you make 7 even?” “Take away the s.”
  • “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”
  • “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
  • “How does a taco say grace?” “Lettuce pray.”
  • “What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?” “A meltdown.”
  • “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”
  • “I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.”
  • “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.”
  • “What does a bee use to brush its hair?” “A honeycomb!”
  • “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”
  • “Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!”
  • “How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.”
  • “My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.”
  • “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
  • “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
  • “What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!”
  • “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
  • “How did Harry Potter get down the hill?” “Walking. JK! Rowling.”
  • “You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a
  • leg.”
  • “A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”
  • “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”
  • “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”
  • “That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”

Best New Dad Jokes

  • “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
  • “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
  • “Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”
  • “I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.”
  • “What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”
  • “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.”
  • “Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They’re making headlines.”
  • “I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.”
  • “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”
  • “Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.”
  • “I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
  • “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
  • “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
  • “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
  • “I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.”
  • “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.”
  • “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  • “I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”
  • “I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”
  • “I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.”
  • “I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
  • “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”

Funny Dad Jokes

  • “You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”
  • “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.”
  • “Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.”
  • “I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!”
  • “What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.”
  • “I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.”
  • “What’s the best smelling insect?” “A deodor-ant.”
  • “If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
  • “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!”
  • “It takes guts to be an organ donor.”
  • “I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.”
  • “I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”
  • “If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?”
  • “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”
  • “I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.”
  • “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”
  • “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”
  • “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”
  • “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”
  • “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”
  • “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.”
  • “What’s a robot’s favorite snack?” “Computer chips.”
  • “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”

Popular Dad Jokes

  • “Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.”
  • “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”
  • “Why are piggy banks so wise?” “They’re filled with common cents.”
  • “What do clouds wear?” “Thunderwear.”
  • “How do you get a good price on a sled?” “You have toboggan.”
  • “Why is Peter Pan always flying?” “He neverlands.”
  • “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”
  • “How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?” “By its bark.”
  • “What do you call a hot dog on wheels?” “Fast food!”
  • “It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.”
  • “Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.”
  • “Where do young trees go to learn?” “Elementree school.”
  • “How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!”
  • “Can February March? No, but April May!”
  • “What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.”
  • “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”
  • “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
  • “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.”
  • “When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”
  • “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”
  • “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”
  • “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
  • “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”
  • “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”
  • “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
  • “Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.”

All Dad Jokes

  • “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.”
  • “Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.”
  • “Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.”
  • “What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.”
  • “Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!”
  • “If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?” “An iWitness.”
  • “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
  • “What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.”
  • “How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.”
  • “Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.”
  • “What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.”
  • “What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.”
  • “My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe…”
  • “What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.”
  • “What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.
  • “What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.”
  • “What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.”
  • “Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.”
  • “Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.”
  • “My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got
  • home that I had picked 7 up.”
  • “What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.”
  • “What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.”
  • “How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.”
  • “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”

Laughable Dad Jokes

  • “Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.”
  • “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”
  • “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.”
  • “When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.”
  • “What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.”
  • “What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.”
  • “I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.”
  • “Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.”
  • “How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.”
  • “Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.”
  • “5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.”
  • “Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.”
  • “You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom? European.”
  • “Why did the bedding hide their relationship? They just wanted something pillow-key!”
  • “Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”
  • “What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored? Tweet.”
  • “What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.”
  • “How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.”
  • “I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.”
  • “Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.”
  • “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.”
  •  “How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.”

Ridiculous Dad Jokes

  • “What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby? Cutting a rug.”
  • “What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.”
  • “What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.”
  • “I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.”
  • “Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.”
  • “Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.”
  • “Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?”
  • “What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.”
  • “I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.”
  • “What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.”
  • “What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.”
  • “Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
  • “If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.”
  • “When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • “I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?
  • “What did the juicer say to the orange during self-quarantine? Can’t wait to squeeze you!
  • “What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
  • “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • “What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
  • “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, ”Do you know how to drive this thing?””
  • “Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, “That’s a novel concept.”
  • “I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.”
  • “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

Last Dad Jokes

  • “I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.”
  • “Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes? They just want to help you become a groan up.”
  • “RIP boiled water—you will be mist.”
  • “Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.”
  • “What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed.”
  • “What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.”
  • “What does a house wear? Address.”
  • “Sore throats are a pain in the neck.”
  • “What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.”
  • “Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.”

What Does Dad Joke Mean?

A dad joke is a type of joke that is typically cheesy and predictable and is often told by a father figure. Dad jokes are often lighthearted and humorous and are often told in a playful or teasing manner.

Dad jokes are known for their corny or silly humor and are often met with groans or eye rolls from the audience. However, despite their often poor reception, dad jokes are often beloved by the people who tell them and can be a source of entertainment and amusement for both the teller and the listener.

How Can I Be More Fun?

Being more fun often means being more open-minded and willing to try new things. It can also mean being more outgoing and engaging with others. Here are a few tips that may help you become more fun:

Be positive and enthusiastic. People are drawn to others who are happy and excited about life.

Show interest in others. Ask questions and listen to what others have to say. This will help you connect with them and make conversations more enjoyable.

Try new things. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new, whether it’s a new activity or a new type of food. This will make you more interesting and open-minded.

Be spontaneous. Don’t be afraid to be spontaneous and go with the flow. This will help you be more fun and adventurous.

Let loose and have a good time. Don’t take yourself too seriously and let yourself have fun. This will help others have fun around you as well.

How Do You Make a Class Funny?

Making a class funny can be a challenge, as humor is subjective and can vary greatly from person to person. However, some general tips can help make a class more engaging and entertaining, which can in turn make it more fun for the students. Some tips for making a class funny include:

Using humor to break the ice: Humor can be a great way to break the tension and create a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere in the classroom. You can use a funny anecdote or joke to start the class, which can help put your students at ease and make them more receptive to learning.

Incorporating funny examples or stories: Using funny examples or stories can help make your class more engaging and interesting. For example, if you are teaching a math lesson, you can use a funny story or scenario to illustrate a concept, which can make the lesson more memorable and enjoyable for your students.

Encouraging student participation: Encouraging your students to participate and share their own funny stories or jokes can help create a more lively and engaging classroom environment. You can encourage your students to share funny stories or jokes related to the subject matter, which can help make the class more interactive and enjoyable.

Making a class funny involves using humor to create a more relaxed and engaging classroom atmosphere, and incorporating funny examples and stories to make the class more interesting and enjoyable for your students.

Why Can’t I Have Fun?

There could be many reasons why you might not be having fun. Some possible reasons include:

You are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. When we are stressed, it can be difficult to relax and enjoy ourselves.

You are not interested in the activity or event you are participating in. If you don’t enjoy the activity you are doing, it is natural to not have fun.

You are not in the right mindset. If you are feeling down or negative, it can be hard to have a good time.

You are not connecting with the people around you. If you are not feeling connected to the people you are with, it can be difficult to have fun.

If you are having trouble having fun, it might be helpful to try something new, take a break to relax and destress, or connect with friends or loved ones. Sometimes, just changing your mindset and focusing on the good things in your life can help you have more fun.

How Can You Make Everyone Like You?

It is not possible to make everyone like you. People have different preferences and opinions, and not everyone will like you. However, there are things you can do to increase the likelihood that people will like you. Here are a few tips:

Be kind and respectful. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Be genuine and authentic. Be yourself and don’t try to be someone you are not.

Show interest in others. Ask questions and listen to what they have to say.

Be optimistic. A positive attitude can be contagious and can make others want to be around you.

Be supportive and helpful. Offer to help others when you can, and be there for them when they need you.

Remember, it is not possible to make everyone like you, but by being a good person and treating others with kindness and respect, you can increase the likelihood that people will enjoy spending time with you.

How Can I Become Popular?

Being popular is not the same as being well-liked or respected. Popularity often refers to having a large number of friends or being well-known in a particular social group. Here are a few tips that may help you become more popular:

Be friendly and approachable. People are more likely to be drawn to you if you are easy to talk to and friendly.

Show interest in others. Ask questions and listen to what others have to say. This will help you connect with them and make them feel valued.

Be positive and enthusiastic. People are attracted to others who are happy and excited about life.

Be confident. Believe in yourself and your abilities. This will make you more attractive to others.

Be involved in activities and clubs. Participating in activities and clubs can help you meet new people and expand your social circle.

Remember, popularity is not the same as being well-liked or respected. Focus on being a kind and genuine person, and popularity will come naturally.

What Are The 4 Types of Fun?

There is no standard classification of the types of fun, but some common types of fun activities include:

  • Social fun: activities that involve interacting with other people, such as attending parties, going to concerts, or playing sports.
  • Active fun: activities that involve physical activity, such as hiking, dancing, or playing sports.
  • Creative fun: activities that involve using your imagination and creativity, such as painting, writing, or crafting.
  • Relaxing fun: activities that involve relaxation and downtime, such as reading, watching TV, or taking a bath.

These are just a few examples of the many types of fun activities that people enjoy. The important thing is to find activities that you enjoy and that bring you happiness and fulfillment.

How Can I Have Fun With a Girl?

There are many ways to have fun with a girl, and the best way will depend on the girl and your shared interests. Here are a few ideas:

Go on an adventure together. Try something new and exciting, such as hiking a new trail or going to an amusement park.

Do something creative together. Paint, draw, or write together. You could even try writing a short story or making a movie.

Have a girls’ night in. Watch a movie, cook dinner together, or do each other’s hair and makeup.

Go out and do something fun. Go to a concert, attend a comedy show, or try a new restaurant.

Remember, the key is to find activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect and have fun together.

How Do I Start Fun?

To start having fun, you first need to identify activities that you enjoy and that bring you happiness and fulfillment. This could be anything from going for a walk to trying a new hobby to spending time with friends and loved ones.

Once you have identified activities that you enjoy, make time for them in your schedule and commit to do them regularly. This will help you start having fun and bring more joy and happiness into your life.

Why is Fun So Important?

Fun is important because it brings joy and happiness into our lives. It can also help reduce stress and improve our mental and emotional well-being. In addition, having fun can help us connect with others and build strong, meaningful relationships.

Fun is an essential part of a well-rounded, fulfilling life, and it is important to make time for fun activities and experiences.